"Good morning kids! What would you like for breakfast? Jumbo Krispies, Bran Muffin, Pop-Tart, or oatmeal? Have you brushed your teeth? Have you brushed your hair? What kind of sandwich do you want for lunch, peanut butter & jelly, ham, or turkey? Have you been to the bathroom? Have you made your bed? Do you have your shoes on? Did you pack up your notebook and homework? Are you ready? "
(Kids at school)
"Did you have a good day? What's the homework situation? How did you do on your test? What time is Volleyball practice over? What time do you have to be at the baseball field? Did you find your knee pads? Did you find your cleats? Are you done with your homework? Do you need this by tomorrow? Did you eat all your supper? Do you want an Oreo? Have you taken a shower? Did you brush your teeth? Do you need this by tomorrow? Do you have to have that shirt? Have you set your alarm? Have you gotten in bed?"
Kids to me:
"Mornin'. Um, I dunno. Yeah. Uh-huh. Somebody's in the bathroom. Yeah. I dunno."
(kids at school)
"Um, I dunno. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yup. Uh, I dunno. Humph.Yeah. I dunno. Okay."
Samuel to me:
"Hey Aunt Barbara Jo, have you ever seen that episode of Phineas and Ferb where they open the restaurant I think I'll have Jumbo Krispies hey, what if I wrote a cartoon about this guy that builds an exploding house that explodes when it needs to be cleaned and then is magically clean again and they start all over can I play my DS in the car on the way to school what are we having for supper tonight can I have ham and cheese for lunch can it be toasted oh, wait, you can't send me a toasted sandwich for lunch because it will be cold and soggy and (he starts brushing his teeth) aldjfoie lskdfna aoifknf ifaknfahfoeinf aie an c;oaiefawekf foi en fn oienlkdf sndf (spit) is that okay because I was thinking we could do that after we come home from school okay goodbye."
(Samuel at school)
"so then Dawson says this and we all laughed and laughed it was so funny and are we going to Jacob's game will anyone else be there can I have pink lemonade to drink I finished my math homework and I drew this cartoon at school why don't you read it and tell me if you like it or not what do you think because when I put these lines behind him it looks like he is running very fast don't you think Punk, you want to do a puzzle Sabrina and Punk put together 4 puzzles I think that is all the puzzles we have I'm not sure I like that but I do like Cheetos okay i'll go take my shower but then I really need to finish this one drawing before I go to bed and is Jacob out of the shower yet I'm gonna get in bed okay goodnight (small voice in the distance now) maybe we should do that tomorrow and I know where we can find some cool sticks in the yard and then we could invent a thing to pick up the dead baby bird that I found over by the driveway and...
"SAMUEL, go to BED!"
I love this job.
Okay, welcome to my life. Eventually you will start waking up in the middle of the night with Samuel's voice in your head. The first time it happens you'll jump out of bed, run up the stairs and say"What's wrong Samuel?", only to find everyone fast asleep. You'll go back downstairs with your heart beating thunderously from your middle of the night sprint still listening for his small voice thinking "I know that I heard him."
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