Mother's Day

It is ironic that one of the two Sundays that I am in charge of 6 children just happens to be "Mother's Day." To say the least, I have a whole new appreciation for mothers...especially mothers that have 6 kids or more. Big families are wonderful. I applaud your diligence, your perseverance, your finances, and most of all, your complete insanity. May the force be with you.

I, on the other hand, will only be the mother of 6 children for a mere 40 hours more. Over the past 12 days, I have learned many valuable lessons...not the least of which is that you must use the phrase "using soap" when you tell Samuel to go take his shower. I've also learned that my niece loves grapes. And, by "loves", I mean, I make nearly DAILY trips to Wal-mart to resupply. If grapes are left on counter, they will most definitely be eaten before bedtime...the entire cluster...every last one...even the wilty ones on the bottom of the bunch. I've been amazed at the quantity of grapes this one little person can inhale. She also loves Cheetos Puffs. Really I can't fault her for that, they are deliciously puffy. However, after consuming what I am sure is WAY more than her mother would normally have let her, I finally said, "Okay, lay off the Puffs, girl!" Uncle Norm then said, "You're gonna turn into a Puff!" Elizabeth Ann just looked up at him and smiled that sweet little smile and said, "And a grape!" The kids all started laughing and decided that by the time mom and dad got home she would look like one large purple Cheeto. (Is 'Cheeto' the correct singular form of 'Cheetos', or is 'Cheetos' singular? This I shall have to Google.)

I've also learned to watch what the children "sneak" into the car before going somewhere. Samuel placed a MadLibs book in the car several days ago. If I am asked to name one more noun, or verb, or number, one more time I'm gonna....well, nevermind. I just keep telling myself, "It's educational, it's educational...at least they are learning what nouns and verbs are!" (grumble, grumble, grumble) Today, they all brought straws...no drinks, just straws, into the car. Why? Well, so they could fashion a very long poking device, of course. My shoulder was constantly tapped by the people in the back of the van tonight while driving home from the church building. I heard some talk about trying to get it long enough to drink their drink in the kitchen from several rooms away. Fortunately, I was able to put a stop to that one. Haha! Wait, where's Samuel going with those straws???

In an effort to be as helpful as I can to my readers out there who are contemplating having six children, let me just say that in order to keep them for only 14 days, you will need the following:

• Patience
• 4 bags of Cheetos Puffs
• 6 pounds of seedless grapes (could be more - I need to go to the grocery in the morning and we still have 40 hours left)
• 4 bags of Oreos (2 regular and 2 Double Stuf, of course.)
• The phone number for Domino's Pizza
• 3 tanks of gasoline
• An organizational chart
• A friend who can check 7th grade Algebra
• And, ice cream that you steal out of the freezer at Grandma's house

So, I salute ALL the mothers out there. May we continue to have the patience to rise early, make multiple school lunches, wash multiple loads of laundry, keep up with the ball schedules, chauffeur with style, and completely embarrass our children in public, simply because it is fun. Happy Mother's Day, mom...even though you're reading this from a hotel in Jerusalem...not that I'm jealous or anything.

Gotta go, the dryer just buzzed....