I Will Survive...

Well, believe it or not, we have nearly made it! After 14 days, 6 kids, 3 houses, 42 meals, too many soccer games, practices, baseball games, and practices to count, we have survived. With my Gloria Gaynor theme song playing in the background, I am officially typing my last blog entry.

The kids spent about an hour last night "decorating" the house for their parent's return. We made a "Welcome Home" sign, hung streamers, made paper lanterns, you name it. All, so Tabatha will have something to pick up when she gets home. While we were doing this, Jacob was at a baseball game in Elkmont (they won, by the way!). When he returned, the younger kids were all in bed. As he was putting his baseball items away, he looked up and saw the "Welcome Home" sign. Under his breath, I heard him say, "Wow, I feel special." Hate to burst your bubble kid!

As I sit and watch by the window for the truck to pull in the driveway, I wonder what stories the kids will tell Barry and Tab about these 2 weeks. Will they admit that we played Blackjack one night with popcorn? Will they admit to watching "Alvin and The Chipmunks - The Squeakquel?" Will they fess up that we almost left Samuel at school one day?? (I know what you're thinking, How could we possibly forget HIM?) I suppose I will just have to sit and wait for that phone call from my brother that begins this way, "Is it true that while we were gone y'all........." Uh. Yes.

I've been asked many questions during the past two weeks...Does this make you want more children? Does this make you wish you had six kids? Have you been getting any sleep? Have you "hit the booze" yet? (I won't tell who asked me that one! ) I've just smiled and politely answered them all. But, by far, my favorite question was this one...would you do it again?

Absolutely.

Oooo...here they come! Here they come!

Mother's Day

It is ironic that one of the two Sundays that I am in charge of 6 children just happens to be "Mother's Day." To say the least, I have a whole new appreciation for mothers...especially mothers that have 6 kids or more. Big families are wonderful. I applaud your diligence, your perseverance, your finances, and most of all, your complete insanity. May the force be with you.

I, on the other hand, will only be the mother of 6 children for a mere 40 hours more. Over the past 12 days, I have learned many valuable lessons...not the least of which is that you must use the phrase "using soap" when you tell Samuel to go take his shower. I've also learned that my niece loves grapes. And, by "loves", I mean, I make nearly DAILY trips to Wal-mart to resupply. If grapes are left on counter, they will most definitely be eaten before bedtime...the entire cluster...every last one...even the wilty ones on the bottom of the bunch. I've been amazed at the quantity of grapes this one little person can inhale. She also loves Cheetos Puffs. Really I can't fault her for that, they are deliciously puffy. However, after consuming what I am sure is WAY more than her mother would normally have let her, I finally said, "Okay, lay off the Puffs, girl!" Uncle Norm then said, "You're gonna turn into a Puff!" Elizabeth Ann just looked up at him and smiled that sweet little smile and said, "And a grape!" The kids all started laughing and decided that by the time mom and dad got home she would look like one large purple Cheeto. (Is 'Cheeto' the correct singular form of 'Cheetos', or is 'Cheetos' singular? This I shall have to Google.)

I've also learned to watch what the children "sneak" into the car before going somewhere. Samuel placed a MadLibs book in the car several days ago. If I am asked to name one more noun, or verb, or number, one more time I'm gonna....well, nevermind. I just keep telling myself, "It's educational, it's educational...at least they are learning what nouns and verbs are!" (grumble, grumble, grumble) Today, they all brought straws...no drinks, just straws, into the car. Why? Well, so they could fashion a very long poking device, of course. My shoulder was constantly tapped by the people in the back of the van tonight while driving home from the church building. I heard some talk about trying to get it long enough to drink their drink in the kitchen from several rooms away. Fortunately, I was able to put a stop to that one. Haha! Wait, where's Samuel going with those straws???

In an effort to be as helpful as I can to my readers out there who are contemplating having six children, let me just say that in order to keep them for only 14 days, you will need the following:

• Patience
• 4 bags of Cheetos Puffs
• 6 pounds of seedless grapes (could be more - I need to go to the grocery in the morning and we still have 40 hours left)
• 4 bags of Oreos (2 regular and 2 Double Stuf, of course.)
• The phone number for Domino's Pizza
• 3 tanks of gasoline
• An organizational chart
• A friend who can check 7th grade Algebra
• And, ice cream that you steal out of the freezer at Grandma's house

So, I salute ALL the mothers out there. May we continue to have the patience to rise early, make multiple school lunches, wash multiple loads of laundry, keep up with the ball schedules, chauffeur with style, and completely embarrass our children in public, simply because it is fun. Happy Mother's Day, mom...even though you're reading this from a hotel in Jerusalem...not that I'm jealous or anything.

Gotta go, the dryer just buzzed....

How about a Hawaiian Shaved Ice?

After agreeing to keep your 2 nephews and niece for 14 days, a "red flag" should go up in your mind when your brother utters the following words on the day before he leaves...

"This is where we keep the toilet auger." Not a good sign.

"This is where we keep the miscellaneous keys that no one really knows what they go to." Oh great.

"Here is where we keep the copy of our wills." What??!!?? I thought this was only for 14 days??!!?

"This is how you open the door to the underground storm shelter." Again, WHAT??!!?

Of course, in all the pre-trip instruction, he never mentioned the weather alert radio. A little warning there would have helped.

My story tonight actually took place a few days ago, but in a sleep-deprived state, I forgot to blog about it. Something reminded me of the incident today and I burst out laughing when I remembered the middle-of-the-night fiasco. So, a few nights ago, a storm came through the area. Nothing too severe but LOTS of rain...and by LOTS, I mean, shortly before bedtime I sent Jacob outside in the elements to search for gopher wood. So, around midnight, the weather alert radio starts on what seems like a never ending cycle of VERY LOUD alerts every 20 minutes or so. When this happens, the first few times, you diligently silence the alarm and then patiently wait to hear the details of the alert. Needless to say, as the night grew on and it was apparent that no severe weather was close to us (it was for Flash Flood Warnings...EVERY time), our patience began to grow thin...to put it politely. Finally, Norm had reached his point. The next time the alert sounded, Norm reached over and pulled the plug directly out of the wall. In the darkness of the room, I only heard him utter the following phrase, "I would like to be ASLEEP when I float away." Uh, Barry, you might have to "reset" the weather alert when you get home.

Well, we're down to the last 64 hours. While out and about today, I actually had someone ask me when the parents were returning. "Oh, Tuesday!" I gleefully replied. The lady looked at me and said, "Wow! Hasn't the time just flown by?!?" Uh. Yeah. Sure. She obviously has not spent very much time with Samuel. I actually heard myself say the following words in the car today, "Samuel, can you let my ears rest for just a minute, please?" He did not understand my question. But, that's okay, because I can now tell you how to get to some new level of Pokemon. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't even know what "Pokemon" is, or even if I'm spelling it correctly. I have 3 girls. If he wants to know if there is a new outfit for Kit, the American Girl doll, I'm your woman! But, I love that kid. Before purchasing a Hawaiian Shaved Ice yesterday, he boldly proclaimed that he was going to get a new, wild, crazy flavor. When he returned to the table, I said, "So,what new, wild, crazy flavor did you get?" "Cherry." Way to live on the wild side, kid!

Ahhh...It's Friday

Ah, Friday. I can't even begin to list the multiple things on my calendar today. Thankfully, I'm happy to report that I think I was successful in completion of the things that had to be done today. Although, it's 9:30pm and I'm still processing laundry...and Jacob still has not returned from his ballgame in Ardmore...so that means one more dirty uniform. I think I'll leave that for tomorrow.

Why am I not at Jacob's game? Well, as stated before, it's in Ardmore...'nuff said. Apparently, my enthusiasm for my nephew's successful baseball career has a 10 mile radius.

Several things have happened over the past 24 hours. I'm happy to report that Norm has not walked into anything else. I'm sad to report that the modem at my brother's house has selected yesterday as the day to pass on to the great modem of tranquility in the sky. It has already been missed. Thankfully, a new one is being delivered Monday. I know what you're thinking..."How is she able to continue to add posts to her blog?" Well, let's review...we are currently "keepers" of multiple houses and...wait for it...the modem at my parent's house works great! (So, if my parents are still reading my blog, yes, we have taken over your house, also. And, yes, it took the kids all of about 10 minutes to find the chocolate in the pantry. Thanks mom!)

So, this afternoon, Jacob and I head down to mom and dad's house so that he could work on a homework assignment for which he needed the internet. And, yes, I am saying that he was working on homework on a Friday afternoon. Thankfully, I still have 4 days to reverse this behavior. Before leaving the other kids, I say to them, "Jacob and I are walking down to Grandma and Grandpa's for just a minute. I'll be right back. Girls, I'm leaving you in charge." After a few minutes, the girls walk in the front door of Grandma's house. "Where's Samuel?" I ask. Elizabeth Ann replies, "Oh, we left him in charge of himself!" Uh-oh...mayday, mayday. I'm happy to report that the house is still standing.

We are currently enjoying a relaxing evening of movie watching and popcorn eating. And, Barry and Tab, don't worry...it's only "Nightmare on Elm Street." It's all good.

I love Norm.

I think the stress of the current "multiple-children, multiple-houses, multiple-schedules" may be starting to show on poor Norm. Yesterday morning, a pair of eyeglasses mysteriously appeared on the kitchen table. For a full 24 hours now, I have been asking everyone in the house, multiple times, "Whose glasses are these??" See, I have 3 girls and 1 husband who all wear glasses....it's just that Norm typically wears his contacts. No one would claim the superfluous glasses.

At other times, Norm was under the impression that he had left his glasses, which he wears at night after removing his contacts, at OUR house. The WEBB house. In an effort to make things as easy on the kids as possible, we are currently residing at the BRITNELL house. However, as you can guess, Norm and I have to make multiple trips between houses to have everything we need. Now, back to my story...

So, no one would claim the glasses. I finally decided that they must be an old pair of Barry's that kids play with on occasion and no one wanted to admit to getting them out to play with them. Fine. FINALLY, last night, as Norm was getting in bed, he says, "Hey, I wonder if those glasses are mine?" As I'm sure you have already figured out, they were....I wish I knew how many times I have asked for the owner to speak up...it never occurred to Norm that they could be his.

But, in his defense, he had already had an interesting evening. While I was inside, Norm went outside, after dark, to take care of something. With no outside lights on, I believe his thought process was something like this..."Wow, it's dark out here, I hope I don't walk into..." POW! As the wrought-iron Tiki torch that is beside Barry's patio smacked him in the face, he realized that perhaps he should have turned the outside lights on. By the time I saw him, he had black soot all over his face, down his shirt, and on his hands. "What happened to you??!?" I asked. "Uh, well, I walked into a tiki torch." Okay. I think we a vacation.

I slept well last night. After getting 6 kids home from school, homework done, 4 kids into ball uniforms, 6 kids fed, 4 kids delivered to ball parks, attending 4 games (with only one win in the bunch - Go Gladiators!), making an apple pie for the bake sale at school today, and washing uniforms for another game tonight and multiple games on Saturday, who WOULDN'T have slept well!?!

Toilet Paper Princess

Several of you daily readers have made several comments regarding my blog. While I appreciate the encouragement and the kind words, let me make one thing clear...NOTHING on my blog has been fabricated. These are all TRUE stories that have happened in the past 8 days. As crazy as it may seem, my family is just this strange. It's easy to write an entertaining blog when the cast of characters are THIS unique!

Today's story begins just after the kids arrived home from school...Sabrina was needing a moment of "personal time", shall we say, in the restroom. The rest of us were milling around in the kitchen, working on homework, eating a snack, baking cookies, etc. All of the sudden, we hear Sabrina start yelling for help...at our house, as I'm sure is the same in all of yours, this is a sign of what we affectionately call a "Toilet Paper Emergency." Because, you know, sometimes you begin your business without making sure you are fully prepared for the festivities at hand. Emily yells back, "Toilet paper emergency??" "Yes!"comes the reply from the other room. "Oh, great! Does anyone know where you keep the extra toilet paper in this house???!!?" I say.

At this point, Elizabeth Ann jumps up and says, "OH! That's my job!" She runs into the laundry room, locates the extra supplies, and run to rescue the stranded. When she returns into the room smiling, I said, "You must be the Toilet Paper Princess!" She just grinned and shook her head in reply. Jacob, who has been diligently finishing his homework and ignoring the chaos surrounding him, mutters under his breath, "That's not a title I would want."

Well, we are 76 days down and only 5 to go. All is well, relatively speaking...I mean, we haven't had to use the toilet auger yet.

The day we went to Wal-mart...

Today is Wednesday, May 5^th, 2010….a day that will forever be burned into my memory. Today was the day I went to Wal-mart and took all 6 kids with me….I’ll never be the same.

You see, it sounded like a good idea. I had a very busy day between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm and just did not have time to run to Wal-mart before the kids were out of school. So, once again, I thought, “Sure, How hard could it be??!!?” Note to self: Any action that follows that statement in my mind is sure to be a disaster.

There was one bright spot….when we pulled in to the parking lot, what to my wondering eyes should appear? But, a parking space…RIGHT ON THE FRONT!! WOO-HOO! Score! See, this is going to be easy! The kids even gave me a round of applause in the car when I remarked on my successful parking.

First obstacle was getting all 6 kids out of the car, across the crosswalk, and into the store with no fatalities. Done! I’m on a roll!

Now, this is where I realize that I forgot to pick up the list that I made this morning. I know precisely where it is…on the kitchen counter…at the house…12 miles away. So, with my superpowers, I try to recreate the list in my head, all while jerking at the buggy that is stuck to the buggy behind it and will not release for me to take it and do my shopping. Where are all the kids in this, you are asking?? Well, as my thoughts come back to the kids, I overhear Emily saying, “Okay, everyone needs to stay within a 3-foot perimeter of the cart.” What?!? Is she kidding me??

Not 5 minutes later, I hear Emily again, but this time she is saying, “Okay the 3-foot perimeter thing is not working. How about if we make a single-file line behind mom.” Oh, great. That won’t draw attention to us or anything.

After 5 more minutes, Emily says, “Well, it doesn’t appear that the line is working either… I just hope we get home with all 6 kids.” Honey, that’s my whole goal in life right now. What aisle is the Valium on???

We finally make it to the car, everyone buckles up, and Jacob calmly states, “Well, that was some material for the blog, wasn’t it?!” You bet, Jacob!

On the way home, we passed by a house right behind Barry and Tab’s house. To say that there were a few items in the yard would be the understatement of the year. There was stuff everywhere. When the kids started commenting about it, I said, “Well, maybe they are getting organized for a garage sale this weekend.” “No,” Jacob replied, “that house just throws up ever so often.” Okay.

I’m gonna leave you tonight with some “Samuel Sayings…” Note: these phrases have not been altered in any way. These are actual phrases that Samuel spoke to me at some point during the day.

“You know that thing that goes around the earth every 97 minutes? I see it out there.” This was spoken at 3:47 this afternoon…when the sun was shining brightly…and there was no possible way anyone could see anything in the sky. Okay.

“Did you all know that the smell of Grandma’s car makes me think of carrots?” I cannot even comment on that statement.

“Did you know that the world’s tallest man was more then 3 feet taller than his father?” Okay.

“This house is just one strange thing after another.” You got that right, Bubba.